Waiting… for change

So, I have already fallen off the “post my blog every week” wagon…

I have been letting the waves of hormones and weariness wash over me.  I’ve been doing almost nothing, and like I have found often, life has been leaving me alone to take care of things. 

This is something I noticed early on in my massage therapist career.  There are ebbs and flows, and you have to go with them.  People always need my services when I have an expense coming up, whether I know it or not.  When I need to take care of things, I get “time off”.  It makes one budget, but you learn to honor the different phases of life.

I have been helping so many people to transition through stressful times over the last couple of years that I was getting over burned out and also needing to segue into something else myself. 

When one finds oneself in need of caffeine to make it through the day, it’s time to reevaluate things… especially when one’s health is posing questions about serious issues… Then it’s time to quit, and find something else that works better for you. 

It took me a while until things worked out to make the changes I could.  It was a matter of timing.  So I have gotten worse before I could get better while biding my time.  But I was looking for my “out” all the while trying to survive tug of war between daily grinding myself down and pushing with assertiveness to make money. 

I have gotten to the place where I’m now in the position that so many of my clients find themselves when they come to me for help.  “Broken”.  It’s my turn to remember what that feels like and I think that is a good thing if you make a living helping people, to BE there again.

So, I have been letting myself sleep a lot and slowly putting my house in order, really and metaphorically, as I reclaim my energy.  As I get a little bored, a sign that I’m better, I have done stuff.  I dig through an accumulated pile here, unload the dishwasher there… I’ll have a schedule again next week, for this week, I’m just here and it has been nice.  : – )

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