“Just go Home!”

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I haven’t worked in a week, and it wasn’t as if I had planned it.  

At some point in the last week, it was as if life told me “Just go home! You aren’t needed right now. Go home.” So I did…

We decided that I was to stay home with our dogs instead of sending them to a kennel or having someone come watch them for the 24 hours when the family was to travel to an out of town graduation.  It just happened to coincide with Mother’s Day…

As soon as I got everyone off on their trip early in the morning, I went to the grocery store to get food that sounded good… vegetables that no one else likes in my clan…and ended up also with some grocery deli meatloaf and mashed potatoes and southern green beans. As it was early in the morning, it was just prepared and fresh.  I wandered home and sat out on the back porch in the still and perfect temperature, no breeze, sunny day and ate my food in peace.

At first I sat down and started eating slowly and wearily.  About 30 minutes in I noticed that the birds were singing.  How had I not noticed them before? Validation of how exhausted I was, I think… You never realize until there is a stark difference, a contrast to how things are going, that you see how things truly are.  It’s easy to keep going by saying “ I’m O.K. I can handle one more thing. I can push through this.” Never realizing that you have accumulated enough stuff to be carrying a mountain…

The neighbors next door were having their generations visiting to celebrate Mother’s Day.  It just floated past me. And in my heavy meal, perfect sunny day stupor, I fell asleep.  I hadn’t realized how tired I was working, busy getting everyone else ready to go on their trip in typical mother fashion.  During my nap I got enough vitamin D to burn my pale skin, from never getting to go outdoors because I was always working. 

A week since, my burn has faded now. 

I have taken advantage of nobody needing me all week once I got them all off to work and school. I have stuck to standing in the shade while I buried my hands deep in yard work, re-grounding and connecting with myself and breathing the fresh air. 

What a wonderful Mother’s day gift! 

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