As I sit here contemplating doing my chores for the day, I keep coming back to the thought that I’m a human being… not a human doing… and I’ve got a lighter schedule this week, and thankfully so. So I can catch my breath.
This spring, I’ve been transitioning from getting a paycheck to a budget readjustment period of making sure I took every opportunity that came my way to make sure I had enough to make bills until I could see how the finances were playing out.
The past few weeks have been a radical readjustment period for me. I have been chasing business then crashing and burning… and, yes, that’s pretty literal as far as emotions go.
No middle ground, just 100 % on and go and then emotional and physical consequences.
I think back to my post “Living like a racecar… that you have to come in for pit stops… “ …Or a total makeover and rebuild in my case! – Bodywork, engine, and transmission…
There has got to be an easier way through life!
I did use an affirmation for a while, years ago, that “ My life is easy”. But I realized how many of my habits were hardwired to do things the difficult way, living the difficult life, having to responsible and diligent, and forcing relationships to work.
Maybe because I grew up with very little and thought every physical thing was hard to get and was out of my reach. I lived off others hand-me downs, and thought they were absolute gifts when I got them! This is something I am now more present with.
My parents showed hard work ethic, my father, especially, working long hours, yet my mother was always showing me the divine ability to pull from the cosmos whatever she needed by asking God verbally for what she needed in the moment, and invariably it always appeared, at the last moment.
I am thankful for the back and forth. -At least, I get the down time. It would be nice to have a more stable life, but then again, how would I get my adrenaline rush filled?
I’ll be back to “busy” again soon. For now I’m catching my breath. Once my tank is full, life will send me activity again. : – )